I've been with the same guy for 25 years but the last couple of years we have lived apart I don't know if Istill love him or not because I don't miss him. It has been months since I've seen him not looking forward to seeing him anytime soon should we just call it quits.
- Lonely in SF, San Francisco

Dear Love Doctor, I met a man on a dating site about 4 years ago. We were 350 miles apart. As our friendship and love grew, the distance wasn't an issue. We fell in love and decided to marry. After we were married, he and his daughter moved here, where I own my home. But then, I found out that he was in huge debt, when all that was divulged to me was a lot less and a car payment. He did get a job quickly here, but due to the debt he owed, he couldn't contribute much to the household. He was behind on all his bills. Feeling like I was drowning, I got another part-time job. Now, working 2 jobs, with 2 teenagers of my own, at home. After the last argument we had, he moved back to his parent's house 350 miles away, while I was at my 2nd job. Only leaving behind a "Dear John" letter. Love doctor, should I just end this marriage on the hope that he won�t leave me with the debts that I bailed him out of, which are in both our names. Please help me!!! Is this a deal breaker?? Desperate
- Mary, San Francisco

Dear Love Dr. I have be dating a man for 2 years. During this past year he has only made love to me 2x's and not once in the last 6 months of this relationship. He claims he loves me, pays my bills and continues to use me as "arm candy" when going out in public but never allows me at public events in which he sponsors. He constantly emulates and makes fun of gay people and but hires gays to work for him and keeps it a secret? What gives? Is he gay?
- Is He On the Down Low, Oakland

Hi Love Doctor, I've been dating a young man (mid 30's) for nearly two years. The problem is this - every dispute we encounter he must involve his entire family in our private affairs. When I come home his family is sitting in our living room awaiting for me to discuss our problems. I've asked him repeatly not to involve his family and he has promised several times that he would no longer involve his family but he continues to involve them. This situation along is causing far too much distress. Love Doctor, is there hope in this relationship? Will this situation will change or worsen?
- Sneh, Oakland

And they say you can't be in love with two women at the same time. I'm in a committed relationship with one and at the same time in love with the one I broke up with 2 years ago and we do keep in touch and I'm sure she feels the same way. What do I do?
- Prettyboy, The Bay Area

Dear Love Dr, I recently e-mail my ex fiance after 2 months just to see how she was doing..When I got her reply back she said, I'm doin well, do you wanna see me ? After all we had gone through I took I her remark as joke ! When I asked her if she was playing games she replied back stating, no, I'm serious, never say I didn't make an attempt..A few minutes later she asked if I would be interested in becoming a sponsor for a show she's producing and the cost to become one would range from $100-200.00 dollars. When I agreed to become a sponsor we made plans to meet up, go over the details and have lunch..I still have feelings for her, however I'm noticing since we last spoke she's not responding back to any of my e-mails, When she does respond, it's only the selected ones that don't pertain to her and I getting back together..I find this to be a bit odd especially after I deposited the sponsorship money in her bank account..Am I a fool still in love with her...Help me out !!!
- Helpabrutha, Sacramento

Dear love Dr Is it cheating if your wife has a friend she talks to that you have never met and she knows you don't agree with her talking to other men that she may have had relationships with years ago. Perhaps I should call up one of my old girlfriends and chat with them as well text them and sneak around behind her back and say there is nothing going on ? what should I do
- JP, Oakland

Dear Love Dr I'm a handsome married man and have been for over ten years my wife is very beautiful and I love her but our sexual appetites are totally different I want it all the time and she wants it hardly ever I could make love everyday. I think it bothers her because I want to do it all the time Should I go out and get it some where else so I don't have to bother her as much even if I know that's wrong she needs to keep up and put it on me What do you think I should do ?
- Give it to me Baby !, San Mateo

Help! Ive known this guy a musician, for almost 8yrs. I know he is very busy trying to establish his career and I respect that. However, he gives me mixed signals. When we see each other usually in passing he's all over me, but every time I tried to ask him whether were just friends or are we going to take it to the next level, he'll back off almost like he is scared or not into me. What should I do?
- confused, oakland

Love Doctor I have been dating this wonderful man I met thru a co-worker. We started as friends, he had gotten out of a serious relationship was hurt and was not looking to get into another one soon. We hit it off and were going strong for months. I have experienced new things being with him and don't want to lose that. His past has come back to in the picture and now he says he still has strong feelings for her that he didnt know he had still but he also has them for me and does not want to hurt me. We spoke of having kids because it is something that he really wants, I am 42 and would love to have another child but he is scared to take the risk with me because I am a single mom at the moment and could not live with himself if something happened to me and my child left without another parent. The ex is younger and also has asked him if he still wants kids. I am upset at with him for allowing this to happen after he was so upset with her because he spoke to me about her in the beginning of our friendship and how she did him. Like he never wanted anything to do with her, but now they are talking again. We have slowed down our relationship because he is confused and doesnt know what to do. What should I do?
- Lost in Love, Fairfield, CA

I have been in a relationship for 71/2 years. He treats me like I'm a child sometimes. He calls me bad names. Now I have met someone else that treats me nice. The only problem is that he is married. Should I continue to see the married man or should I try to have the knucklehead that I'm with seek special help and try to make this relationship work?
- Confused Sister,

Dear Love Dr. You will love this. I met this woman at a bar/club and we immediately hit it off. We talked for a week before we went out on a date. I showed up with flowers (I am a true gentlemen) and I took her to a nice restaraunt that she had never been to before. The dinner and conversation was great. We met up with some of her friends later that evening for dancing. They really took a liking to me. I then drove her home and gave her a hug and a mutual kiss. I have not heard from her since. I recently left her a voicemail asking if everything is ok and if she has decided to move on just let me know, even text me. It has been almost 2 weeks and nothing. What do women want?!?!?!?!?!
- Dee, Hayward

My boyfriend is a cyber-ho-ho cake. Everyday he spends more than enough time flirting on the internet yet he says he loves me. For the most part we have a loving relationship that is open & honest. However, I'm getting tired of this nonsense and even though we met on myspace, I have made a conscious effort to always be respectful. Should I tell him to hit the cyber-highway? Signed, Cybered-out
- Verdelia, Oakland, CA

Dear Love Dr. I have been married for 4 years now, and to my dismay, my WASBAND has been having an affair with some tramp, and now she says she is pregnant with the bastard's child! I have since separated from this fool only to find out he has been taking my babies to this tramp's house?! What do I do? Deal breaker?
- Mrs.P, Newark

I'm confused. G and I have been seeing each other for over two years. This is our second time around. We dated in high school. This thing started out as an open relationship. We both saw other people but at some point I stopped and he made it appear he wasn't seeing anyone else either. Truth always comes to light, He was or still is seeing a woman for the last 5 years. All this time I felt like he was cheating on me when in fact I am the other woman. I get the majority of his time, the problem is he lied about almost everything. Now he wants me, only me his mouth says. Is there such a thing as change? I see him trying real hard. How long can a man fake his nature? Do cheaters, liars tell the truth at some point? My mind says he will always cheat, my heart and other places says give him a chance. Chance or Nature's calling? What do you think? I think the latter! - Ok n Oakland
- Ok in Oakland,

I have been with my boyfriend for 9 years. I love him very much but I know longer enjoy having sex. I don't like to kiss as well. When he touches me my skin crawls. I enjoy his company. I try to avoid it as much as possible. To keep him happy I perform oral sex on him. We use to have sex all the time. What is wrong with me? I have been feeling like this for over 2 years now.
- bailey, Canada

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