Remember back in 2001, when Mariah Carey had a "nervous breakdown" and was hospitalized for two weeks? Well, in her upcoming memoir, the diva is promising to give details about what really happened during that time.
"I had a whole supposed breakdown, alleged, she tells Variety. "All of this to be revealed in the book...which I'm obsessed with writing right now. It's so cathartic."
Asked why she called the breakdown "alleged," Mariah tells Variety, "It was an emotional and physical breakdown, but it wasn't a nervous breakdown, because you don't recover from that, really. And even my therapist was like, 'You didn't have a breakdown; you had a diva fit and people couldn't handle it.'"
Mariah says that, basically, she needed "a moment," and got upset about it -- but she was tarred with the "breakdown" brush.
"If a woman gets too emotional or too loud or too abrasive or too real, suddenly it's like, 'What's wrong with her? She's crazy,'" the singer notes. "The minute I was like, 'I'm not fine; I need a day off, I need a moment,' nobody could handle it, because they infantilized me from the beginning."
Mariah says that writing the book also led her to explore her relationship to Christmas.
"When I was little...I always wanted Christmas to be perfect and so special. And my elder siblings, who I no longer communicate with, would ruin it every single time," she recalls.
The singer adds, "And when I wrote 'All I Want for Christmas,' I was just thinking about, 'What are all the things that make me happy?' and then I turned it into a love song...I think one of my greatest achievements is writing that song."
Mariah's memoir will be out in 2020.
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