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A pair of Rosy flamingoes with their heads together in the shape of heart at Chessington zoo. (Photo by Derek Berwin/Getty Images)

Love Is For The Birds

Tomorrow the whole world will be in love, coupled up or on a date. Yes, Valentine’s Day is on a Friday this year so the lovebirds will be out in full effect and they have the entire weekend to put their romance on display.

But for many single-souls, this will not be the case. While most of you will be reading the wine list to your boo at your favorite restaurant, some of you will be reading the movie list on Netflix to yourself in your apartment.

But that does not mean that you can’t have fun on this special day. Not at all. By all means, go that extra mile and treat yourself.

Since nobody else will.

Here is an itinerary I put together for those of us that will be as single as a dollar bill on the 14th:

It’s the end of the week and you’ve had a long one. It is officially “you time”. When you get home from work, have a drink to unwind a little. Take the edge off. No need to pour it in a cup, just drink it straight out of the bottle. No one is there to judge you. You’re all alone, remember?

After you freshen up, go to your favorite Olive Garden. You’ll be surrounded by couples holding hands and gazing into each others eyes but the bread sticks are free and the dim lighting makes for a good place to hide. Look the server right in the eye and and say “table for one” with confidence. They will almost certainly not have any available due to all the reservations that were made, but I guarantee that you’ll be able to sit at the bar.

After a nice dinner, it’s time to top the night off with a good movie. Head over to your favorite theater and do not be shy to walk up to that glass and say, “one for Parasite, please.” You will not be the only one doing it, I promise. Pro-tip: make sure you see a comedy so that the roar of laughter will cover up your sobbing. You don’t want to distract all the couples trying to enjoy the movie. Don’t be rude.

Okay, so you don’t have a Valentine. Again. So what? Romance can get expensive and complicated anyway. It’s better to be alone than in bad company and only boring people get bored.

Any of this helping? I didn’t think so.

Remember this: it takes two to Tango but it only takes one to Floss.

Rudy Ortiz

Listen to me every weekday from 5am to 10am on the Dream Team. Listen Here

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Sun 12
Tue 14

Merritt College – Grab and Go Free Lunches

July 14 @ 12:00 pm - 2:00 pm
Thu 16

Merritt College – Grab and Go Free Lunches

July 16 @ 12:00 pm - 2:00 pm
Tue 21

Merritt College – Grab and Go Free Lunches

July 21 @ 12:00 pm - 2:00 pm

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